Creating the Ceremony of Your Dreams

Do you prefer coffee, or tea? If we are to work together to create a tasteful, meaningful and personal ceremony for your wedding, I’d like to spend a few minutes to get acquainted. Simple and low-key. You, me, your fiancée. That’s how I suggest our partnership begin. With a chat.

You’re welcome to visit me at my office. Or, I’d be happy to pay you a visit at your home. Or, we could choose to meet at a café or coffee shop – someplace convenient and comfortable for us all. Perhaps you live outside of Wisconsin, but are getting married 'back home,' so to speak. Not a problem. That's what telephones are for.

When you meet me, you’ll find that, for a reverend, I’m pretty down-to-earth and easy going. I’m a non-denominational, interfaith minister. During our conversation, I’ll explain fully what that means. But for now, please know that it means I have both the authority and flexibility to conduct any kind of wedding ceremony you may want – from traditional to alternative, large to small, simple to elaborate. I specialize in ceremonies for people who do not necessarily consider themselves to be active members of a conventional religion, but, nonetheless, seek a wedding that reflects the spirit of their soul.

During the course of our chat, I’ll have some questions for you. Don’t worry. This isn’t pre-marital counseling. I’m not after anything like that. And it’s certainly nothing you need prepare for in advance.

What I'm most interested in is the story of your relationship. How did you meet? What do you do for a living? Where do you plan to have your wedding? Your answers to simple questions such as these help me get to know you, your tastes, and your preferences.

Even if it’s vague, by this time you’ve developed something of a mental picture of your wedding ceremony. Please tell me about it. I’ve conducted wedding ceremonies for some time, now. Ceremonies of all different types. I can offer you some advice about what works, what doesn’t work and the reasons why. I’ll share with you the fundamental components of a wedding ceremony, and the reasons for each of these components. I like to step through these fundamentals as we begin to collaborate and craft your ceremony. According to your tastes and preferences, I can offer you some suggestions of additional rites that you may want to include to make your ceremony resonate for you.

Here are a few examples:

• You might be interested in using a Handfasting as part of a traditional ceremony.
  
• We might include a rite, such as “The Ceremony of the Roses,” to honor your parents.
  
• We can include a ceremony to involve children and step children as a new family comes together.
  
• It’s often touching to take time to pay reverence to special friends or relatives who may have passed on, but are very much in your heart on the day of your wedding.

You, me, your fiancée. We work together to design a ceremony that is distinctively yours. And when you work with me, we are confidantes. Whatever we discuss, I hold it as a sacred trust.

This first, simple chat sets the stage for everything that follows. I will have a little homework assignment for you. (Have no fear. Any ‘homework’ I ask of you is quick, easy and fun.) This homework is a questionnaire. Your answers help me compose the first draft of your ceremony. Already, you see, your work is nearly done, and I take over.

As soon as it’s ready, I’ll send the draft to you. Your job in our partnership is to review the drafts and send me feedback. Don’t ever, ever worry about hurting my feelings with your feedback. My job in our partnership is to see that you get just the ceremony you want, a ceremony that resonates with your soul.

I’ll revise the ceremony based on your feedback and send another copy for your review. Usually, it only takes one or two drafts, but please know that we can make as many revisions as we need – as many as it takes to have your wedding just the way you want it. Tasteful. Meaningful. Personal. Just the way you’ve dreamed.

Your Rehearsal Options

If you do choose to have a rehearsal, it’s best to have it at the site of your wedding. It’s best to have it one or two days before your wedding, and at the same time of day as your wedding. That’s best. But what’s best isn’t always practical, or even possible. So please know that we can always schedule a rehearsal for a more convenient place, a more convenient date, or a more convenient time.

It’s your wedding. We will always do what works best for you.

Take a Deep Breath. Relax! Let Reverend Joan Conduct Your Wedding

I take care of everything having to do with your wedding ceremony.

• I arrive early to make sure everything is set up as it should be.
  
• I test the PA system to make sure it works.
  
• No ushers? No problem. I get everyone lined up in the right places, at the right times.
  
• I cue up the processional music.
  
• I carry both dry matches and a lighter – so we know we can light the candles.
  
• I carry extra copies of everyone’s readings.
  
• I even carry spare tissues in my pocket for those happy tears.

And, when the time comes, here’s what’ll happen:

I smile at you. You draw in a deep breath, hold it for a count, and let it out slowly. You look to your fiancée. All the busy-ness, all the distractions, all the questions… They fade away. It becomes quiet. You look to me. All is in readiness. Just as we planned. All is in order. You smile back at me. I nod. And begin your wedding ceremony. Just as you envisioned. Just as you dreamed.

And Then You Are Married

But, before you go, I’ll have a couple things for you:

• Your Marriage Certificate, and
  
• A keepsake copy of your wedding ceremony.

Your personal wedding ceremony. The ceremony that represents you, your spouse, and the promise of your future life together. I hope you cherish these documents. Please know that I cherish serving as your spiritual coach, collaborator and confidante. You honor me by allowing me to be your partner in designing your soulful wedding ceremony.